Happy Noodle Year!

So, this past week has been Chinese New Year, which meant I had less time teaching, which meant I got in more time having adventures. So sorry for not posting a recipe last week, but the addressee of this cookbook (Marko) was at some private once-in-a-lifetime gig anyway, so I don’t suppose my “Cookbook for Dummies” entry was missed. (Wait, Marko is no dummy. “Cookbook for Smarties who are Bad at Cooking-ies”…? I’ll work on it.)

Anyway, Chinese New Year tradition is to eat really long noodles to symbolize good luck. So I thought I would submit a dressed-up ramen noodle recipe this week. Marko is working on kitchen basics.

First, the usual stream of consciousness stuff before we get to the recipe.

Last night, part of my bus trip from Sicily to Rome involved a ferry boat from Messina to Villa San Giovanni.

These were my thoughts as I shivered on the deck, making the dark passage:

opaque oily chill
sea mocks attempts to know secrets
moonlight is feeble against profound depth

on the surface
metal churns and engines fume
far below
ancient faults grind in eternal anguish
begging for volcanic release

trapped in our machine
we strangers collected in motion

resist temptation
to ask our reasons
only remain certain
if we stop stop
we shall all surely perish

Speaking of dark musings, after listening to the album “Battlefield”, the combination of Slavic folk and the black angry drums and growls of war reminded me very much of the Soviet film “Come and See“. This is a MUCH WATCH for any cinemaphile, one of the most universally respected products of Soviet film, but it is not at all a feel good movie. It follows the journey of a young Belarussian boy as the Germans sweep across his rural homeland. He is a haunted witness to rape and genocide. There is no “Saving Private Ryan” flag waving, nor is it a post-modern “but who really were the bad guys?” statement. It’s simply very important history which we must never forget, and the filmmaker, Elem Klimov, tells this history with a skill matched only by names like Coppola, Cimono, or Kubric. Perhaps this film was able to do something which Hate Forest was not, which is to fully immerse itself in an artistic portrayal of the horrors of war and genocide without glorification or anticipation of further violence. Anyways, really watch “Come and See” sometime, but not before bed. Also Nazis are bad.

I was staying with a Couchsurf host near Mount Etna last week, and made again my peanut butter and celery soup, but this time without the peanut butter. Instead, I slow cooked some lentils and used them. How do you feel about lentils?

My host there in Belpasso, by the way, was a Naturist. Thankfully, he was not insistent that I followed the same clothing habits as him (although he did express some curiosity w/r/t the fact that I, like many American males, have undergone an operation at a very young age which is typically reserved for only Jews and Muslims in other countries). Anyway, I’m not at all shy about wearing or not wearing clothing around other men, as I’ve played plenty of sports and kind of like walking around with not so many clothes (it’s supposed to be good for your skin), but I still prefer to have all my bits held in place and something to keep my chest hair from falling in the soup! So it was a weird experience, but new experiences are why we travel!

So anyway, speaking of new things, back to the Chinese New Year noodles. (Insert “send noods” joke.)

Ingredients list is really simple for this one. I’m gonna write this recipe for one person, so if you want to make it bigger, just double everything.

* 1/2 onion or 3 garlic cloves
* 1 stick celery
* 1 small potato or half of a big potato (cubed – make the cubes about the size of your pinky fingernail – make sure to wash / scrub the potato a bit first and cut off any ugly looking bits of skin. I never fully peel my potatoes, some people do, but unless you guys have updated your kitchen supplies, you still only have that non-functioning peeler with the cucumber handle)
* 3 or 4 mushrooms (chopped into pieces the size of your thumb fingernail)
* some green onions (those are the tops of the onions, chop them into pieces about the size of your pinky fingernail)
* 2 packets of instant noodles (ramen noodles)
* olive oil or margarine (or butter if you are not on that vegan grind)
* a small handful of flour (doesn’t matter what kind of flour, anything you got in the cupboard will work)

Step 1: Put all the chopped vegetables except for the green onion tops in a pan with some oil or margarine. Heat them for about ten minutes, or until the onions start to look a little clear.
Step 2: Sprinkle the flour around on them and stir it until they are evenly coated in the flour. While you’re stirring, hum “Let the bodies hit the floor” but change the words to “let the veggies have some flour” and giggle. Let it heat for a bit longer until the flour starts to get slightly crispy, but keep an eye on it, don’t burn it! The only things which must burn are the infernal sinners upon the judgement day! Veggies and flour, at least in my theological understanding, are incapable of infernal sin.
Step 3: Pour all this stuff in a pot with the ramen noodles and however much water it says to use on the back of the noodle pack.
Step 4: Cook it until the noodles are soft.
Step 5: Put it in a bowl and sprinkle on the green onions and some crunchy bits (soup pearls…?) if you like.

Dobar tek! Look how simple it is to make fast food fancy! Lastly, here’s a Japanese black metal ramen noodles commercial.